I was looking around the web to find how to identify the pumpkin I am baking (saving the seeds, you know) and came across this:
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
the rest is here.